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TRIMESTER ONE: Bloated on the Bias

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Don't Do It!: Sweat Pants


Every pregnant woman dreads when a favorite pair of jeans has become too tight too fasten. That awkward five pounds of bologna stuffed in a one pound bag feeling leads to slipping into the ultimate comfort clothing: sweat pants. Here’s the problem. Sweats are so comfortable, so non binding that you, like the elderly mall rats of Boca Raton, will never want to take them off. To a pregnant woman, sweats are evil. Verboten. The ultimate dowdifier (see preggoglossary). Sweats are voluminous making legs look stumpy and thighs resemble tree trunks. Sweats make five pounds look like 15. They make your butt balloon. They inspire waddling. You want to wear them at home? Fine. But they erode your glam appeal by 1000% and, when worn in public, will make you feel like an elephant amongst gazelles.


1. When your jeans or trousers still fit everywhere except the belly, a SIMPLE RUBBER BAND can offer an additional breathing room. Leave jeans unfastened and loop the rubber band around the button and button hole. This sartorial trickery is easily concealed with a hip length tee shirt, some sassy, dangly scarves or a cute scarf worn as a wide Kimono belt.

2. Two weeks later, when the notion of zipping your pants becomes comical, its time for the elasticized BELLY BAND. This soft, seamless stretchy band is a respirator for civilian pants and skirts. By miraculously sheathing unzippered, rolled to the hips pants, the belly band extends the lifespan of jeans and trousers. Too tight skirts can still be worn by pushing the waistband below the hip and covering the bulging fabric with the band. Again, a lightweight, thigh length top romantically draped over the band “camouflages” your handiwork. You can buy the bands at most maternity stores, on line (http://www.ingridandisabel.com) or even make your own with store bought dancewear fabric.

3. A more polished approach to re-sizing your trousers? Have your tailor sew SMALL TRIANGULAR ELASTIC BANDS into the side seams of pants which can be removed post baby.

4. CONTROL TOP UNDIES like Flexees or Soma help to shoehorn distended bodies into pants, dresses and skirts. Note: Switch to maternity specific undies by month four as compression is not good for the pregnancy.

5. A BODY SLIMMER like Maidenform, Donna Karan Body Perfect or Spanx slims out thighs and chisels the waistline during the first trimester. With thick gage lycra hose extending from below the boobs to the ankles Spanx Highfalutin Footless Pantyhose is a trimester one fan favorite. There is even a thoughtful crotch opening (these were invented for women by women you know) to make life easier with when Mother Nature calls. (NOTE: Switch to maternity specific slimmers in the second trimester.)

BUMP IT UP Approved: Amy's Favorite BrandsCitrus Lane - www.citruslane.comJoin Amy's Mailing List!Buy The Book on Amazon.com!

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